Threats You Face Online:

(or, a superficial, idealistic, ill-expressed rant because I feel kind of sick right now)

What's *not* a threat online, ha ha, am I right?!1!

The Internet used to be such a nice place. It was a bunch of academics, computer hobbyists, geeks/nerds/weirdos/$YOUR_NICHE_HERE (and, okay, *some* military people) running around, researching things, having fun.

Now the vast majority of everything on the web is about superficial crap -- making as much money as possible, social networks for your pets, shoving advertising into every mental hole that people have, spying on everyone, and leaving YouTube comments that would make any intelligent extraterrestrial life nuke us from orbit rather than take up contact.

Not to mention the world's idiotic military/civilian leaders all salivating over the (lame) idea that this is the next dimension of warfare, hurr hurr, the digital battlefield, horkety bork, a paradigm-shifting threat to our national security...any excuse it takes to fraudulently siphon off more money from the herd to our friends with bullshit IT security firms, right, fellow patriots?

The sad truth is that these same idiots created the problem by CONNECTING IMPORTANT SYSTEMS TO THE INTERNET IN THE FIRST PLACE while at the same time deliberately sabotaging any attempt to make the Internet more secure (because *no one else* could have the idea to collect vulnerabilities and then attack other countries, right boys?).

So take it down, assholes. Take it all down. DDOS everything, break in everywhere, and just run a big fucking `rm -rf /`. What horrors the world will experience! First, all the giant, craptastic companies that we hate will grind to a halt and fall apart. Next, every stupid bullshit startup revolutionizing the global marketing paradigm space of selling pet clothes online will cease to exist. Our shitty, pump-and-dump Silicon Valley venture capital bullshit fake economy will vanish, and only real companies selling and making and doing real things will continue to exist. I will read a fucking book, thank you very much.

I know this is unrealistic and badly thought out, and I don't care.

Lorem ipsum, motherfucker.

I hate the Web.